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The Panic Attack - GL Ficlette
Kahlan Amnell
Title: The Panic Attack
Author: meatisadelicacy
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Otalia
Rating: G 
Spoilers: None – set in an arbitrary and happy future. 
Disclaimer: All characters are property of P&G, and Telenext.
A/N: Not at all beta'd - lemme know if you see any mistakes. 


“Olivia, breathe!”  Natalia grabbed the older woman’s arm, guiding her to a nearby bench.  She rolled her eyes.  “Do you need me to find a paper bag?”

It was a beautiful day in Springfield – the sun was shining, birds were singing, and Olivia Spencer was having a panic attack.  A full blown, heart hammering, palms sweating, knees trembling, I’m-about-to-shit-a-solid-gold-brick-and-die panic attack.  After everything she had endured in her life, it was hard to believe that something as pedestrian as this would be the end of Olivia Spencer.  Inconceivable! 

“Sweetie,” Natalia’s voice was as soothing as the hand rubbing circles on her back.  “We talked about this.”  And they had.  They had spent countless hours yelling, finger pointing, crying, then finally talking and listening.  It had all been moot – Natalia wasn’t really pregnant with that man’s child.  By the time they had found this out though, Olivia was completely in love with the idea.  She imagined mornings taking care of her nauseated partner and midnight runs to the grocery store to satiate unusual cravings.  Not to mention the hormonal cravings she might need to satiate on other nights… 

Though there wasn’t technically a loss, both women felt heartbroken.  They still wanted a baby together.  Natalia prayed that she would have green eyes like Olivia, and everyday Olivia told her partner’s growing belly that she just couldn’t say no to dimples.  As they day drew nearer, the women almost had everything they needed – a crib, car seat, changing table, clothes, bottles, the whole nine yards.  They just needed a few more things, besides the baby of course, which is what lead the duo out of their home this morning. 

As the green-eyed woman tried to get her breathing back under control, she realized she didn’t know who she was anymore.  Olivia had always felt that her identity was defined by the ability to get men (and on occasion, woman) and be desirable, and she enjoyed having that power, even if she was strictly a one-woman woman these days.  She would never cheat on Natalia, the thought had never even crossed her mind.  But Olivia enjoyed being wanted, it was fun and thrilling and if they went through with this, she wouldn’t be any of those things anymore.

Olivia looked up, her eyes squinting as the sun reflected off every shiny surface.  “I don’t know if I can go through with this.”

“It’s a little late for second thoughts,” Natalia said, rubbing her hand over her large stomach. 

The older woman smiled, and then placed a kiss on her wife’s cheek.  “Not this.”  She covered Natalia’s hand.  “It’s just…” she trailed off, having a hard time finding the words.  “This isn’t me.  I don’t think I can do it.  It’s not right.”  Olivia was working herself into a full blown rant.  “It’s like mixing oil and water, or cats and dogs living in harmony, or maybe Cardassians and Bajorans forming an alliance…” 

“Carda-who?” Natalia interrupted.

“Nothing!”  Natalia didn’t need to know all her embarrassing little secrets.  Olivia took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts.  “I’m sorry.  I thought I could do this, but…”


Olivia was practically in tears.  “I just can’t!” she finally screamed out, drawing the attention of a group of people who happened to by passing by.  “Please don’t make me.”

Her voice was small, begging, and it made Natalia’s heart ache.  Then the younger woman realized what they were talking about and shook herself.

“You know, I think you are going to be the bigger baby when this child is finally born.”  Natalia looked straight ahead, ignoring the woman next to her, but she was struggling not to smile.  She bumped Olivia’s shoulder.  “It was your idea in the first place,” she reminded.

The hotel owner sighed.  “I know and I’m sorry.  Please don’t make me.”  She asked with such an even combination of fear and hope that Natalia couldn’t help laugh at the ridiculous situation Olivia managed to create for herself. 

“It’s fine, Liv.”  Natalia decided to put her partner out of misery.  Olivia sat up higher, as if the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders.

“Oh thank you, thank you, thank you.”  Each ‘thank you’ was coupled with a kiss, and Natalia could only giggle at the other woman’s antics.  

“All that over the thought of buying a minivan?” 

Olivia shuddered as she heard the word ‘minivan.’  “I’ll do anything for love, but I won’t do that.”

Natalia snorted, her hands flying to cover her face.  Wiping the tears from her eyes, she finally got herself back under control.  “I just have one question.”  Olivia turned away from the SUV’s she had been eyeing and gave Natalia her full attention.


“When were you going to tell me you were a Trekkie?”  Olivia groaned, burying her face in her hands.  It just wasn’t her day.  “I mean, you think you know a person…”


The End.


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