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Otalia Mini Fic
Kahlan Amnell
meatisadelicacy
Title: Oh Boy
Author: meatisadelicacy
Rating: PG(13?) for the use of the d-bomb
Fandom: Guiding Light
Pairing: Otalia
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: All characters are property of P&G and Telenext.
AN: I still can't believe Natalia's pregnant, but if she has to be with child, this is how I think it should go down.




“Oh boy,” Dr. Clarke said, her wide eyes darting back and forth between the patient’s belly and the monitor screen. “This is highly unusual.”

“What is?” Frank demanded, still sulking in the corner. Olivia rolled her eyes.

“Is everything okay? Is the baby healthy?” Natalia was lying on the bed, her pregnant abdomen the object of concern. Olivia placed her hand on her lover’s shoulder; the touch alone was enough to calm the younger woman’s racing heart.

“Yes, sorry. Everything is fine.” Dr. Clarke was quick to reassure all three would be parents that the pregnancy was moving along exactly as it should be. Removing the transducer, she stared at the gel coated end for a few moments, trying to figure out if what she thought was happening was really happening.

“Doctor,” Olivia’s voice startled her out of the intense scrutiny. “You just ‘oh boy-ed.’ Would you like to share with the rest of the group?” It wasn’t exactly a question.

“Does that mean it’s a boy?” Frank momentarily forgot he was supposed to be surly and pushed off against the wall, a dopey smile forming on his face. Natalia pinched the bridge of her nose as he approached the monitor. Olivia was practically growling at the suddenly ‘Proud Papa.’ Dickhead.

As if she could read minds, Natalia leaned over and smacked Olivia’s thigh. “Be nice!”

Frank didn’t notice. He was too busy starting at the screen of the 3-D Ultrasound. The details it provided were amazing. From how the baby was positioned right at that moment, they could all see it was most certainly not a boy.

“You’re the biological mother, correct?” Natalia thought that was painfully obvious, and the look she gave the obstetrician said as much. The doctor was quick to explain herself. “It’s just that sometimes with lesbian couples, one partner is impregnated with – ”

“It’s her baby, and he’s the biological father,” Olivia interrupted, giving the doctor a level ten Spencer glare.

“Okay well, if we take a look here…” The doctor once again placed the transducer against warm skin, drawing everyone’s attention to the image on the screen. After a moment, the baby moved as if she was posing for the camera. There were simultaneous ‘awws’ from everyone in the room as they saw their baby’s beautiful face for the first time. Suddenly, like the baby sensed it was being watched, two bright green eyes opened, and a perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched high on a tiny forehead.

“What the hell?” Frank stumbled back from the screen like it was a grenade about to go off.

“That’s what I mean,” Dr. Clarke explained. “These machines aren’t even in color, but your baby clearly has green eyes.” They all kept staring at the monitor. “Not to mention the fact that she opened her eyes in the first place.”

“Oh boy,” Natalia said. If there was already that much attitude in a fetus, her teenage years were going to be hell.

“Jeez Natalia, are you sure I’m the father and not Olivia?” Frank’s bitter voice ruined yet another tender moment between the two women.

“We can do a DNA test. The baby is old enough now.” Dr. Clarke began cleaning up the equipment. Glancing up, the doctor saw Olivia’s eyebrow arched in the same manner towards Frank just as the baby had done moments earlier. “Or not…” It was painfully obvious who the baby’s other parent was.

Natalia sat up. “Doctor, as much as I’ve prayed otherwise, Olivia can’t biologically be the other parent.”

“Hey!” Frank squawked in indignation.

“Oh it’s entirely possible,” the doctor reassured them.

“How is that?” Natalia wanted an answer, and she wanted it now.

Turning to face the two women, she asked, “Have you two been having unprotected eye-sex?”

Frank threw up his arms and stomped out of the room. Olivia blushed scarlet, Natalia beamed, and two little in utero baby hands rubbed together in glee.




unprotected eye-sex . . . LMAO!!

Who knew it had such consequences? Thanks for reading.

Fan-Fucking-Tastic!

Love it!!!!

Oh, to capture the characters in such a novel and hilarious fashion. I am in awe!

Why thank you, I really appreciate it.

Mega super levels of win to be had in this fic.

Great job.

Repeated, unprotected eye-sex clearly has serious consequences. LMAO. Loved this.

Right!? Who knew all this time they were makin' a baby?

ROFL - well serves them right for engaging in risky business...and they thought Emma was a handful :)

So much fun!

Yeah can you imagine the love child of those two? That would be trouble, and having Emma as a big sister...oh boy.

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I'm glad you liked it. Thank you.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

These machines aren't even in color....

OMG, so funny!

Unprotected eye-sex.... LOLOLOLOL

Brilliant!

Yay, fpreg, bad luck Frank!

Frank is such a loser. I'm surprised he was able to get her pregnant (allegedly) in the first place. I still think it's Olivia's baby.

My contacts just popped out of my eyes. LMAO great story

Don't look too hard at anyone without those contacts...you might be paying child support.

OMG LAUGHING LAUGHING LAUGHING, CRYING LAUGHING SO HARD!!!!!!!

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

LMAO!!! I needed that laugh just got home from work so thank you so much that was hilarious!!

I'm happy to hear it made you laugh. Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it.

Unprotected eye-sex! Well I guess I'm lucky I'm one of those people who wear sunglasses inside. Better safe than sorry!

I wonder if that means that Henry is Emily's, she and JJ did alot of eye-shagging before he was born!

Like that song, 'I wear my sunglasses at night?'

Just snorted Diet Coke all over the keyboard. "Unprotected eye sex"!!! Great....

I'm sorry about your keyboard, but I'm glad I made you laugh.

Had a stessfull week. Thanks for the Laugh! Really needed that!

You are welcome, and thank YOU.

LOL I sure needed that laugh! Thank you!

Also, we REALLY need to send this link off to CC as she did mention Eye Sex in a recent interview! LOL :-)

Oh boy, if CC read this dorky little story of mine, I'd probably pass out. But yeah, her talking about the eye sex inspired this fic. Not to mention I still can't wrap my mind around Frank being the daddy. Beh. As far as I'm concerned, he's not!

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If they can clone Reva they can make Olivia the other baby mama.

BAHAHAHA AMAZING! Loved the ridiculousness of it :)

Thank you so much. I'm glad you said ridiculous, that's exactly what I was going for with this.

I'm A)glad to see Olivia went to the doctor's appointment, B)VERY glad somebody else uses the word 'dickhead' to describe Frank, and C)wishing Olivia had turned that level ten Spencer glare (I grin evilly every time read that sentence) on Frank while actually calling him a dickhead out loud. Nicely done!

Oh let me tell you, if I don't say dickhead at least 20 times an episode to Frank well then, I don't know what. But I say it a LOT. And thanks, I appreciate the feedback.

“Doctor,” Olivia’s voice startled her out of the intense scrutiny. “You just ‘oh boy-ed.’ Would you like to share with the rest of the group?” - Hahaha

Dickhead. - *snort* Ha!

Suddenly, like the baby sensed it was being watched, two bright green eyes opened, and a perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched high on a tiny forehead. - HAHAHA! :D

If there was already that much attitude in a fetus, her teenage years were going to be hell. - Hehehe

Natalia sat up. “Doctor, as much as I’ve prayed otherwise, Olivia can’t biologically be the other parent.” / “Hey!” Frank squawked in indignation. - Hehehe

“Have you two been having unprotected eye-sex?” - Oh. My. God! Seriously, I'm so happy there's no one around to hear how hard I was laughing at that.

Olivia blushed scarlet, Natalia beamed, and two little in utero baby hands rubbed together in glee. - Awesome!


This whole thing was friggin' hi-larious, and a welcome bit of fluff from the drama and angst on and off screen.

Thank you very much. I definitely think we need some light stuff now and then for our own sanity. Though this story makes me look anything but sane...

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Speechless by absurdity...excellent.

LMAO!!! Unprotected eye-sex!!! I like that!!!

Thank you. I think the girls like it too. Heh.

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